Confessions of a (Non)Military Wife

So Casey is shipping out. In less than a week. To a place far, far, away. I'm so very thankful for the opportunity I feel the Lord has provided us to take care of some financial burdens we have both had for quite some time. By the time he gets home next year, if everything goes as planned, we're looking for the following to have happened:
(a) All of our revolving (aka credit card, student loans, car note, etc.) debt will be completely paid off.
(b) We'll both be skinnier...him from the profuse sweating, I'm sure, and me because of my intent to rejoin a gym somewhere.
(c) We'll both be very savvy in the area of overseas communication via webcam and skype.
(d) We'll have some money in our savings account (to this point, we have said, 'savings? what savings?'...) :)
(e) We'll be closer to one another.
(f) We'll value the time we have together much more than we do even now as newlyweds.
(g) We'll be spiritually stronger because of all the Lord will have brought us through.

The Bible teaches that "In his heart man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Every single thing on this list may not happen exactly like we have planned it out, but I'm so thankful for the saying (and the truth behind it), "Where the Lord guides, He provides." I believe He has guided us to this choice and I am excited (though sad at the thought of being thrown back into singlehood for the next little bit) about the changes in our future that this job will make possible. I'm trying to look at a one year sacrifice as a huge investment in the quality of life we'll have in the future.

So...enough said for now. I'm going to remain positive and upbeat...if it kills me. I've cried enough for a lifetime in the last 48 hours alone, and I am determined to be positive, if for no other reason than to help my husband stay strong. I promised to honor him, obey him, and submit to him on the day I said 'I do' and I intend to do just that. I'm so thankful for his guidance and his willingness to sacrifice to provide for our family. I love this man so much!!! :)

Deep Thoughts....not by Jack Handy


I was out of town this weekend and had the chance to visit the church where I grew up—boy, did the Lord know just what I needed…in Sunday school the pastor taught out of the book of Luke; most of you are probably familiar with the story of Mary and Martha. I know I’ve heard it preached probably a hundred times, but Sunday morning something hit just right…

How often do we end up like Martha, overwhelmed with everything on our plates? Usually we hear this passage taught in the context of Christian service (working in the nursery, singing in the choir, teaching a Sunday School class, you name it)—but think about life in general. Grades to be entered. A spouse to love. Kids to feed. Laundry to fold. The car to wash. Bills to pay. The grass to cut. Phone calls to make. Just thinking about everything that has to be done in the time between my morning alarm and my evening shower sometimes is just too much to handle. I feel like Martha when Jesus described her as “careful and troubled about many things.” As I look back over my day and wonder just how I survived it, it hits me. Where did the Lord fit into my day? Did he? I didn’t pray when I got up. I didn’t set the alarm to make time to read scripture before I got ready for work. I sure don’t feel like it by the time I finally make it to my bedroom in the evening. I’m on extended day, so forget about any extra time between classes or during a light planning period. I focus so much on my work that I forget about worship. We were created to worship the Creator; the disciples were chosen to love first, and then serve. I get it backwards so many times and too often I’m satisfied naming the name of Christ when, in reality, I haven’t even spoken to Him—besides a quick blessing before I eat my cereal on the way to work or a quick prayer to thank Him for the near-miss on the interstate—in who knows when? Martha missed it, but Jesus reminds her that Mary knows what this relationship is all about—“One thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part…” Don’t get so caught up in the overwhelming parts of life that we forget about the Omnipotent One who longs to spend time with us and settle our spirits before a hectic day.

“41And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
42But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

A Love Hate Relationship

I'm reminded of the move, 10 Things I Hate About You (oh, how I miss Heath Ledger!)...just some thoughts running through my head today (among other things!) I am blessed beyond measure, blessed beyond my wildest dreams, blessed inexplicably....

I hate....

• When he has to be gone for more than a day...heck, more than a few hours!
• When he's feeling bad but won't let me take him to the doctor
• When he gets discouraged
• When he doesn't get to talk to the babies
• When things don't go as planned and they're totally out of his control
• When he says something that didn't come out just right (not because of how it makes me feel, but how broken he's going to be if I let him know it)

I love...

• Waking up next to him in the morning
• When we both get hysterical about something random
• When we have movie nights with all three of the kids snuggled up together
• When he buys me a SmartWater without me asking
• When he buys me flowers
• When he rubs my back
• When he looks at me randomly and says, "You're so beautiful."
• When he looks at me randomly and says, "I'm so glad I married you."
• When he looks at me randomly and says, "You're the best wife."
• When he works on the car...a car..any car...and lets me watch (or help!)
• When he cuts me off in the middle of a conversation and says, "looklooklooklook" at a classic car (yes, I really do love it!)
• When he initiates the conversation about us matching for church on Sunday
• When he writes something about me on facebook and calls me right away to ask me if I've looked on the site
• When he says in the darkness, right before sleep, "scoot over here and let me hold you."