Technology is an incredibly useful tool. When it works. I did not realize just how much I rely on my cell phone until recently, and I find that I'm practically paralyzed without it. No matter how much I may scream from the rooftops that I'm not in bondage to my cell phone (yes, I sound like an addict..."i don't need my cell phone. I can stop using it anytime I want."), I don't go anywhere without it. Ever.

I decided (apparently subconsciously) that I would see just how durable my cell phone was on Saturday evening. Yes, these things have come so far that surely they can withstand going for a swim in a glass of sweet tea. Ah, naivete...how optimistic you are. I tried, to no avail, to dry out said phone. I spoke to it, caressed it, prayed over it, nothing. I even checked the little sticker inside the battery pack that tattles to the Verizon folks as to whether or not it is simply "broken" or has suffered the ominous water damage. It's still intact, but my phone still will not work.

No fear, I have insurance. I called Verizon to inform them of the damage and to ensure that I am insured. They assure me that I am, and transfer me to the Asurion folks to process my claim. My deductible: $89. The original price I paid when I upgraded to this phone: $189 -$100 rebate card =$89. Phooey. Well, that won't happen till payday. Options? I still have the Verizon Dare in the junk drawer at the apartment...which leads me to my second story of the day.

Dare apparently wasn't listening to all the church services I made her attend, as she appears to be possessed by one of Satan's legions. I noticed in September of 2009 while trying to send a text message that I kept pressing the button in the lower left of the screen (note to self..never buy a phone again that is entirely touch screen.)...then I noticed it wasn't me. I would try to send a text...dial a number...look at pictures...change the wallpaper....and no matter what I pushed, the button in the lower left of the screen would light up. Then it happened. I put the phone on the seat beside me and noticed it lighting up on its own. I locked the phone. Guess where the unlock button is on the screen? You got it. Dare unlocked herself and proceeded to try and send a text message. I called the Verizon folks to see who their local chaplain was and the guy on the other end told me I needed to update my phone by dialing *228. "sir, I can't." "Why not?" "Well, the screen is totally unresponsive and I can't press anything." "Oh, (sounding a bit puzzled), I see. Let's try something else. Go to the settings and tools menu and try to calibrate your screen." "Um...I can't do that." "You can't? (sounding exasperated at this point) Why not?" "(big sigh here) Because my screen is totally unresponsive and I can't press anything." "Ohh...ma'am, I can't help you. You'll need to go to a Verizon store." So I did. In the bathroom at the Verizon store Dare decided the whole store needed to hear the last voice message I had received, so she unlocked herself and opened up the song I got from one of my students. I promptly got embarrassed and bought a new, exorcised phone with no problems.

Dare is at it again. I have a phone (aka security blanket) that does nothing but sit here. Luckily I have her locked and she is staying that way, but for all the good she's doing me I could have just brought a brick with me to work. Oh, the joys of technology.