It's been a really rough day. I believe I have made some enemies at work, at least for the time being. It's always good to hear that--in the eyes of others, at least--you're not doing your job properly. It's even better when you hear it from a third party based on somebody else's observation. That being said, I am so blessed to have a job and my issues seem small compared to that of what others are having to go through tonight.

I am heartbroken at the grief that my friends the Hegwoods are facing tonight as they cope with the loss they suffered this morning. I cannot begin to imagine the pain they must be feeling from losing a son, a father, a brother, a grandson...and all over things that, on a day to day basis, may seem like an overwhelming burden. Dealing with the stresses of work, family relationships, peer pressure, depression, anxiety, grief,....it all builds up. I am thankful that The Holy Spirit can bring our needs before the Father even when we can't do it ourselves. Rom. 8:26b says, "for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered." Even in the most desperate times, I can sit in the presence of my Heavenly Father and just cry. The Holy Spirit takes those tears and translates them into the needs of my heart that my mouth hasn't yet been able to express.

I don't guess I have a good conclusion to this blog---I just had to get it out. My prayers are with the Hegwood family and I would ask that you help intercede for them as well. Bro. Jeff, Mrs. Cindy, Jake, April, Sydney, Jackson, Allie....I pray that the Lord will provide comfort, hope, strength, and courage during the times when you feel most empty.

7 Things

I've visited this website that I saw on Nicole's site--www.cfhusband.blogspot.com--so you can blame this on him (he invited his readers to do it, so there ya go...and here I am.) Enjoy!

1. I am very allergic to some kinds of leather. I'm not sure for how long (I hear your body chemistry changes every 7 years), but I own a belt that sits in my closet which I cannot wear because it is too painful. Literally.

2. I usually do not return phone calls from people who do not leave a message. It's a personal stance I've taken. I hate to talk on the phone anyway, and if your call wasn't important enough to leave a message for, it's probably not worth me calling you back to see why you called me in the first place.

3. I have to sleep with noise in the room. It can be in the form of a fan, the TV, the radio, or rain, but I can almost never fall asleep in complete silence. (Once I get to sleep, I'm fine--unlike my father.) This may be a problem if I ever get married.

4. I absolutely love looking at the beach. The sounds there are beyond a doubt some of the most soothing in the world. That said, I do not enjoy being at the beach for very long. The last time I went to the beach with my dad and stepmom, I spent approximately 20 minutes of my time actually in the sand...out of five days' worth of vacation. And that was enough.

5. I have worked as a waitress, receptionist, physical therapy assistant, teacher, test coordinator, burger flipper, librarian, babysitter, customer service specialist (aka Wal Mart), and a pharmacy technician.

6. I have never seen Gone With The Wind. I haven't read the book, either. I don't know that I will anytime soon. In addition, I have not seen Lord of the Rings or Dirty Dancing.

7. I was one of only three white people on the faculty step team last year. That said, I have been told I was one of the most talented on the team. I'm not bragging. I think it's funny, considering the fact that I cannot dance. At all. Well, wait. I know how to do the electric slide.

Jordan

I was reading Joshua tonight (I know it's late.....but I'm insomniatic...if that's a word) and I found something that I thought was interesting.

In Joshua 3, Joshua is preparing the children of Israel to pass through the Jordan river into the Promised Land. He tells them to sanctify themselves, and when they get to the Jordan River, to get in and stand still. After the Lord delivered the Israelites, Joshua commanded them to build an altar--stones of remembrance--on the other side of the river as a testament to what the Lord had done. I looked up some commentary on what the significance of the Jordan River was. What I found was interesting and the encouragment that I needed.

In the Bible, the Jordan River is symbolic of the passing over from one place to another--specifically, at a point in one's life where the Lord is in the process of changing and molding a life. Joshua commanded the people to get in and stand still.

At the point in our lives when the Lord may be molding us, it gets uncomfortable. The desire is to run, to go back to the "safe" and perhaps even pleasurable side of the river where we were before. If we follow the example, we should get in and stand still in the place where the Lord is growing us. As our relationship is just that---not a religion, but a personal, growing relationship with the Lord--this process should happen over and over again throughout the course of our walk on this earth. Don't run. Move to the place where the Lord has the ability (and permission--He won't force Himself) to teach you, and then stand still while He does!

If you follow the story, Joshua commanded the Israelites, once they got to the other side, to construct an altar as a place of remembrance for what the Lord had done for them on that day. When you come through a period of trials, growth, learning, or help (and often they seem to show up together...), leave stones of remembrance as a testament to the Lord's grace and His work on your life. Allow the process of change in your walk with Christ to be one that others can be inspired by...not because of how phenomenal we are, but because of His mercy and grace that He would still continue to chip away at the areas of our life that are unnecessary to make us something beautiful.

On that note, I'm headed to sleep. :) Sweet Dreams. Remember....Get in and stand still.

I'm not entirely sure anybody actually read this, but....I was feeling talkative and thought I'd come here (talking to my walls does me no good except to work out my vocal cords. After last night's football game, they need a rest anyway.) :)

I've officially made it through my first Saturday in three weeks without an injury. Two weekends ago I got to go to Celebrate Freedom, hear some incredible artists, and hang out with some incredible friends (Casey, Jesse, Mattie, Raymond, John, Hannah, Ansleigh, Ivy, and Corbin....you are phenomenal!). I was vaguely aware of my lack of sunscreen when I left the apartment, but figured I could just find some shade and perhaps only receive some minor pinkness. I even contemplated going back home to get it, but it took me 20 minutes just to turn on the road that took me to the parking lot (well, parking field), so I figured I'd just suffer through it (suffer being the operative word.) The concert was held in the arena. Unfortunately (for me), they don't make a habit of putting shade in an arena, as said shade may trip the horses. We parked in a field that they had just opened up for us. You should know that they began parking people in the far back corner of the field; we were the eleventh car from the corner. After hiking forever to get to the event, we hung out for a while and had a pretty good time. Sunburn began to show up mid-afternoon (along with possible signs of dehydration, heat exhaustion, whatever. I'm tough.)

By Sunday morning I was the approximate color of a tomato (Don't believe me? Check out my photo-progression over the last two weeks at www.myspace.com/soyperdonada ...I would post them here, but I'm not smart enough. If you are reading this and know how, I'd appreciate a tutorial.) I decided to leave off the makeup and just answer the questions (there were lots of them) at church. Later in the week I finally went to the doctor (about something else), and asked him for something (in pill or ointment form) that may offer relief. He gave me both. By Friday of last week I was almost back to my normal, non-flaking color. (This is after the cycles of redness, scaling, cracking, and greasy ointment that all goes along with sun poisoning.)

So we're back to last Saturday. Katie was having a surprise party, so after getting some things done Saturday morning I went to her aunt and uncle's house. Had a good time, blah blah, prepared to go. The way their house is set up, the porch is actually lower than the back yard. That being said, you have to go up four steps out onto the back yard. The porch is covered and has a rather low clearance at the top of the steps. I noticed this upon my arrival to the party, but the ice cream cake must have given me temporary amnesia. You know how sometimes you'll see what's about to take place just before it happens, but you don't have time to stop it? I never even saw it coming...until I caught the metal rail of the roof square across my nose. Out of instinct rather than good sense, I grabbed the rail to keep myself from falling down the steps while the stars left my view. The gracious hosts rushed to get me ice, lanacaine, and ibuprofen. Gene (a veteran nose breaker) examined my nose and declared it not to be broken.

Off I go home with a bag of ice stuck to my face (this makes for an interesting drive.) I got home, then paranoia kicked in. I live alone. What if I gave myself a concussion and, when I fall asleep, I never wake up? What if I pushed the cartilage from my nose into my brain and have brain swelling yet to be pronounced? What if I get a subdural hematoma (I watch too much ER.) Like a good hypochondriac, I called the nurse line with my insurance company. She advised me that, though there's nothing they can do even if my nose is broken, if my nose is still bleeding after this amount of time (it is) I should go to the ER or possible stitches. "Is there somebody who can drive you?" "Well, yes, but I live a mile from the hospital and could probably walk there before anyone could get here." "Well, that's good, then. Go ahead." Off I go. I had called Stacey and Casey about my injury; they both advised me if I went to the hospital to let them know. I did. They offered to come. I (being the proud sucker I am) told them I could hold ice on my face without assistance, and I would call them if I changed my mind.

When I walked in the ER the clerk looked at me and said, "you definitely need to see a doctor." Ya think? (I still have ice on my face. 20 or so amused onlookers in the ER said nothing...or at least that I could hear.) Mrs. Debra called me and asked me if I was okay. I reported that I was in the ER for possible stitches, to which she replied, "have you called Casey?" (Why she chose Casey I'm not sure--he wasn't at the party, and we have no ties other than being good friends...apparently she sees him as a protector and good ER companion.) I told her we had spoken and that he had offered to come, but I was okay and would call if I needed someone. Her response? "You need someone there. I'm calling Casey. I love you, goodbye." Casey showed up 20 minutes later.

I was feeling pretty safe (albeit humbled that a friend would come sit with me though he could offer no more assistance than a visual examination of my nose). Casey came with me into triage....do you remember the typical questions they ask you in triage?

• What's wrong? (Have you not seen my face?)
• What meds are you on?
• How tall are you? (Tall enough that I didn't miss the roof rail.)
• How much do you weigh? (I mean, really...remember my companion for the evening o' fun.)
• When was your last cycle? (Can we discuss any more sensitive information while I'm here? You haven't asked me my bra size yet.)

Anyhoo, the rest of the evening was relatively uneventful. When the doctor came in, he looked at my nose and said, "hmm. That could be broken," to which I replied, "well, they took x-rays." "Oh, really?" (Did you not order them?) In the end, he said I had a probable hairline fracture and superglued my nose shut (Jeremy said this superglue, by Wednesday night, looked like a booger. Said superglue is now gone.)

The ER called Wednesday afternoon to inform me that my nose was indeed not broken (well this changes everything! Thank you so much for letting me know....now I can go out and cancel my cosmetic surgery.)

All week I've had to endure basically the same comment: "Hey, Ms. Phillips, how's it goi....ohmygah what happened to your face?" (And, from a couple, "were you drinking?" [no, I wasn't. This was all me. I don't drink for several reasons, this being one of them--if I can do this much damage by myself, can you imagine what would happen if I were liquored up? I'm a special kind of clumsy.])

Today I haven't even bumped into anything. The day is pretty much over, so I think (cross your fingers) it may be safe to say I'm good to go....I really need a padded room with a helmet.